Well a lot has happened since I addressed this blog. I’m out of the habit of musing (except internally). In early October The funny, thoughtful, handsome and gifted Roger Hull left this world after a long and often harrowing battle with prostate cancer.
He remained interested in the process of dying until the very end, did a lot of thinking about his own life and the moment of leaving it, but the battle itself kept him from writing something interesting about this part of life.
Recently Roger’s cousin Lisa sent me a nice article from the New York Times written by Rabbi Sharon Brous https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/19/opinion/religion-ancient-text-judaism.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare and I’ve thought a lot about this. So very many people have “shown up” for our family this fall and winter, through soup and flowers and notes and calls and visits. It has overwhelmed me with gratefulness for these communities we were/are a part of…family, neighborhood, artists and writers, university, town, state. These messages have lifted me up. I’m reviewing who might need a message from me to add to all the messages that form a life raft for somebody. I’m urging others to do the same. I received one card that simply said “I’m thinking of you” with no name. No matter, the message reached me. Take it to heart readers, if I have any readers left. In this disrupted world we live it is more important than ever to keep in touch.
And here are two of the many people who have shown up for me…(Vivien now 5, Sidney now 10)
On The Way 
I’ll miss Roger ad all his wittiness, brilliance , and perfect. Please know I’ll be thinking of you.
Sent from my iPad
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Thanks Kathy…think of you often…your lively self full of fun and interested in everything. XXOO
So sorry to hear about Roger. Don’t know if you remember me at all, but when we were small children you came with your parents to visit my family, Cecelia and Emanuel Bowes, in Union, Mo. Today when I was sharing a cigarette and conversation with a few of my friends here in the apt complex where I live in St Louis, your name was mentioned. We were discussing family who lived far away and I told them about you; how we met probably 70 years ago, but I never forgot and was so happy when we sort of connected again through “On The Way”. I so wish my non binary grandchild could meet you. Their name is Kai and they are attending Pacific Northwest College of Arts, in Portland. Their biological mom is my daughter-in-law, and my daughter is their other mom. Lee and Pam have been together about 24 years and married for 20. The mom’s live in Port Angeles WA. I know this transition from being a couple to being alone will be difficult, but your friends and family will be there for you when necessary. I hope you continue to share your words and your art.
Of course I remember you…Manny loomed large in my Mom’s life stories. I’d love to meet Kai…will contact you with my phone. I was in Portland Saturday for a nice reception at PDX Contemporary Gallery..”DE May and Friends”…in which I had a piece. Hope you are doing well…I plan to start writing more frequently now that Roger only absorbs my thinking time and not my actual time. Best to you Barbara…xo
Your reply made my day and it’s barely just begun. My phone # is 314-708-1185. Hope you
have a good day.🩷
I’m texting you my phone number…xxoo
Oh, Bonnie, I’m so sorry to hear of Roger’s going. How sad for you and those who knew and loved and spent time with him.
Thank you for the link to the NYT article. Showing up is something I need to relearn after the covid years when it became easier for introverts to be more introverted.
I wish you the blessing of happy memories with Roger and that they will help you through the sorrow and grief.
Take good care.
Thanks Nancy…it has been a hard and sad year, 2023. After 54 years I have lots of memories. Daily it seems there is something I want to tell him…the house that burned, another old friend who died. All. But I’m doing well all things considered, and Zach and family are right next door. xo
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div dir=”ltr”>I’ll miss Roger ad all his wittiness, brilliance , and perfect. Please know I’ll be thinking of you.
Sent from my iPad
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Thank you. A beautiful message.
Thanks David. The article struck a chord with me. Best to you
Dear Bonnie, I’m so sorry about Roger. I have so admired your lives together in art and the everyday as you have shared them here. I wish you good memories and peace, and hope you continue sharing here. -Eileen (pisstkitty)
Thanks Eileen. The last year of Roger’s illness was not really blog worthy, but I hope to get back to it. I don’t know that my journey will be as interesting, but on we go. xo
This is Susan Fort from Seattle and we knew you many years ago in Salem and in Seattle. I went to Medill School of Journalism with Roger before he switched to art. I remember sitting with him at the Chicago Art Institute where he explained oh so patiently the Seurat painting there. He was such a lovely person. I learned about your blog from my friend Sally Wermcrantz who is a close friend of Mary Hull’s. And so the world turns. I admire you both and am sorry we missed so many years of friendship. Your grandchildren next door has to be the best tonic. If you make your way to Seattle we would love to see you.
Susan
Hi Susan…I think of you often wondering how you and Bill are doing as we sail into old age. All love to you. Roger has good memories of the NU years, though I think his friendship with you was the best thing he got from Medill. I remember wheeling Zachary around in your beautiful buggy…keep in touch. xo
Sorry to read about Roger! Saying good bye to loved ones is so hard. Sending you a big hug!🤗
My how those grands of yours have grown.🥰
Thanks Deb…so much has been left behind for us to consider, and I feel so lucky to have these grands right next door and part of my daily life. I love watching you establish your new world. xo
People are how we find/continue on our way forward. So glad that many are sharing your road. With care for you and yours, Jo